The Writer's Womps

On Disappointment & Rejection

Let’s talk about disappointment. As a writer who submits their work often, I am familiar with rejection. That is its own form of disappointment. I’ve also experienced the disappointment of a contract where the terms could no longer be met by the publisher so I took the option offered to pull my book. And the disappointment of not getting selected for a role in the literary world. And the disappointment of being selected for the literary role but not being able to move forward because funding was cut.

Each of these had their own sting to them. It’s not necessarily easy to say I just won’t send out anymore of my work, or I won’t try to work with anyone else again. But when you’re smack in the middle of all the feelings of being rejected—the sadness, anger, defeat, and questioning your worth/skills—it’s right there on the surface.

In wanting to share my own experience with what we will just call “the writer’s womps”, I am finding myself wanting to tell anyone reading to just keep going. That I know the reason why I have made the progress I’ve made thus far as a writer and teaching artist is simply because I showed up and applied or sent my work out relentlessly.

But I have learned from friends that that type of response isn’t always helpful. So, I won’t tell you to do that. In fact, I want to state plainly that there is no advice at all in this post friends 😅 this is just my truth. I don’t have any tips for building up a tolerance for hearing no. Or for being passed over time and time again despite how much work you put into something. Or for having the thing right there in your hands one minute and it be gone the next.

There was just this thing inside of me that clicked into place one day after so many rejections or failed opportunities. I suddenly just felt that part of the work of succeeding was hearing no and having those moments where it just doesn’t go your way. It’s never fun, of course not. I don’t jump for joy when something falls through. I take a moment to think something along the lines of “well, that sucks”, I update my tracker where I keep up with anything I submit or apply for, and then I let it go.

This is something I built up to. A choice to not dwell and be beaten down by the outcome that I had to make over and over until it just became my automatic response. And some things I do dwell on, especially the chances that felt perfect for me and my goals. I do sit with those for a bit longer. But I don’t let it stop me from moving forward the way I have in the past. So again, no advice for you, I just wanted to share with you all that I get told no often. I get rejected often. Things I was excited about fall through. I feel sad about them.

Sometimes it’s on me, sometimes it’s on someone else, but often, it’s not anyone’s fault. Just luck. Or unluck in this case 🙃

Tell me: What’s the no that still stings for you? And what’s helped you come back from it, if you have?

Drop your womps in the comments!

Sidenote: I think The Writer’s Womps could be a thing…cuz I have a lot of womps I could share with y’all 🤣…

About me:

Talicha J. is a Black queer poet, teaching artist, and Pushcart Prize nominee. She was a 2024 Collaborating Fellow at The Poetry Lab. Her debut collection, Falling in Love with Picking Myself Up (2015), led to a national tour and helped grow her presence as a poet. She is currently a reader with Frontier Poetry & Alternating Current Press.

In June 2024, she released her chapbook, Taking Back the Body, which won the Beyond the Veil Press chapbook contest. She also curates writing and editing sprints, leads online generative workshops, and hosts a monthly publication submission space. Her work has appeared in or is forthcoming with Plenitude, Fahmidan, Peach Fuzz, Lucky Jefferson, Just Femme and Dandy, Button Poetry, and more.