Draft Journey #4

A Look at the Process

My poem, Weeping for What Was Stolen, was published in Fahmidan Journal issue # 19. It went through a few drafts. Let’s take a look at its journey to getting published, shall we?

Important note: This poem is a Rib Cage which is a poetic from invented by poet, Athena Liu, consisting of 24 lines alternating between 12-syllable lines and a monosyllabic word in brackets. At the end of the text, the bracketed words — or spine — are read from top to bottom.

The biggest issue with this draft was that I used a word with 2 syllables in the spine (into and tended) when each word is only supposed to have 1 syllable. And I also had way too many words in the last line. I was trying to figure out how to fit this BIG thing I was trying to say into 12 syllables. This was early in 2024 and I was…newly radicalized. I hadn’t been paying attention to the world outside of my bubble but in October of 2023 that changed. I was suddenly seeing how corrupted things were and I was writing poems like this one to process. To feel.

In draft two I understood more of what I was trying to say and made small tweaks to the language used to help me get there. I wanted to express that whether it was in Palestine, Sudan, The Congo, or here in the U.S. the greed of my government was causing harm. Which is where the initial title, American Greed, came from. Another small change that I think landed well was in the first line where “broke” became “displaced”. This felt more true to what our government asks of us, to ignore people being removed from their homes for the sake of resources and power grabs. I also re-did the spine so each word was only one syllable and actually started to feel like a cohesive thought. It still wasn’t quite there though.

This final draft was another round of subtle changes. I used a line from poem as the title. It felt like it had more emotional impact than American Greed, which felt more like rage and anger to me. And while the topic is indeed quite rage inducing, I think the stronger emotion here is grief, which Weeping for What Was Stolen captures.

The main change came within the spine. Again, it was a tiny shift but it made the line land so differently. Looking at the version history I see I the first draft of this poem was written at 3:30 in the morning, what a night owl! And fun fact, this was the 40th poem I wrote in 2024. I went on to write a whopping 149 poems that year. Whew.

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Thanks for coming along on this Draft Journey! It’s fun to see where a poem started from and where it ends up, but I think it’s even better when we can get a peek at some of the steps it took to get there.

I would love for you to write with me this summer! I’ll be co-hosting a 4-week virtual writing retreat, Camp Write Start from July 5-August 1 along with Priscilla Thomas & Finding Oasis with Nikki Gray. Use code TALICHA15 for 15% off! Early bird pricing ends June 6th!

About me:

Talicha J. is a Black queer poet, teaching artist, and Pushcart Prize and Best of Net nominee. She was a 2024 Collaborating Fellow at The Poetry Lab. Her debut collection, Falling in Love with Picking Myself Up (2015), led to a national tour and helped grow her presence as a poet. She is currently an Assistant Managing Editor with Fahmidan Journal.

In June 2024, she released her chapbook, Taking Back the Body, which won the Beyond the Veil Press chapbook contest. She is a Co-Founder of Campfire Creatives, curates online generative workshops, and hosts a monthly publication submission space. Her work has appeared in or is forthcoming with Torch Literary Arts, Peach Fuzz, Lucky Jefferson, Just Femme and Dandy, Button Poetry, and more. Visit talichajpoetry.com to learn more!.